tlj

So don’t cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don’t lie to me,
Just get your things.
I’ve made up your mind.
I just wanted to share some stuff…

I have a great job. I love it. I have a great family, I love them. I had a great life, I miss it. I have a better life, I’m glad I made the change. I feel like maybe I strayed from certain convictions in the last few months… I’m eager to get back on track… Finacially i’m pulling through finally, first time in years i’ve made enough to live, and make purchases I want, not just need. (although recently they are needed things, but things maybe before I would have just suffered without, like… a coat). I’m going to be moving to a new apartment in a few months and am looking for a roomate, but since no one who reads this lives anywhere near me… I guess asking here is pointless. I spent my Thanksgiving with some friends, we went to see a movie and dinner. I am looking forward to having a home again, and not some room i’m renting out from a guy I don’t really know or converse with much.

I really am not going to let myself be pressured into choices any more. There is no point. I should never again let anyone unilaterally make choices that affect my life. EVER.

On a side note there might be a change on here soon with my site. You’ll notice it will be moved to www.tlj.zephyrconcepts.com to make way for the new Zephyr Concepts homepage, you can still get to this site via the small Purple P Triangle in the upper left corner, (you will need to log in to be anywhere on the site at that point). I’m going to be reopening my company I think, if for no other reason then to get some good solid stats on the site through google.

I’m really uninterested in talking lately if you hadn’t noticed, a lot is going on in my head and I’m sorry if i seem distant to anyone, its really nothing personal.

Happy Thanksgiving

-Trevor

So I keep wanting to write in here again, but I’m not sure what about… Work has been going well, nothing spectacular, but I enjoy it. I have a 3.5 day weekend and I’m actually wishing I could go in… weird. I moved in last week, so I’m no longer homeless. The room is nice enough for what I pay, I feel safe here and the area is nice and close, (13th and R streets NW, so near logan circle/dupont). I can’t get over riding around in a car and BAM there’s the capitol, or BAM there’s X monument. It’s cool to be somewhere that’s actually interesting. I am beginning to miss home, and cody and cole. I can’t seem to decide if I want to stay here or not, I definitely like having a life, but I’ve got so much on my mind half the time I end up just sitting around thinking about it, or walking around. I spent a good portion of my time down in Virginia this weekend, and on the way back to DC friday I got to thinking about how I’m sliding back to being submissive about life again. I’ve decided I’m capable of being strong when I make an effort, but most the time I just let things happen… I’m not really a big fan of that, so I’m back to trying to be firm and speak up, stand up etc. At work I spent an entire day working on a project, only to have it re-done behind me. So I spoke up. I just asked that I be told in the future up front instead of having it done behind me. I’m not sure if that worked out for or against me, but I feel like there’s not point in being submissive… If my opinions or stances get me fired, or dumped, then you know what… I was probably going to be miserable there anyway. On another note, I’m fucked. Financially… I think i’m going to apply for a second job this week, short of incurring massive debt there is no way i’ll make it out here as an intern. So thats where I am this weekend. I’m screwed but I’m working on it… Hopefully i’ll get it fixed… its like filling the bathtub with the stopper pulled, and no water pressure… lol. Try as I might there is no way to plug that hole ;).